fleaball: (Default)
I am REALLY fucking annoyed with my internet right now. I can't stay connected and I don't know why. It worked fine for a few days after doing this before, but now it's retarded again. At least it's considerate enough to warn me that it's cutting out by making Windows Media Player skip and everything else lag for a few seconds. >> Pero no comprendo. Y no me gusta.

Realized that because classes start on a Thursday, my first class of the semester is at 4pm. lolz.

Really really hate that I don't have a job. But I've pretty much given up on that. Because no one out of the 8 or 9 places I applied wanted temp/summer help. Nowhere else that I apply -now- is going to let me work for a month. So what it comes down to is that I'm pretty much fucked. I'll be getting a $1k check in September, but that's pretty much spoken for already. Tis a scholarship that I have to renew, but I have to get the paperwork stamped by VCU to prove that I go there; obviously can't do that til I go down there, at which point the bill will have been paid in full, meaning I get the check. Minimum $300 of that is going to books for this semester. This entire thing is just a freaking mess. Mom said she'd talk to the guy at Stop & Shop because he likes her. Also said she would have said something sooner, but didn't want to get in my way. I appreciate that, but I would have appreciated more if she had said something when I applied there a month ago and nothing had come of it. I'm pretty sure Nancy despises me as it is, and if I were to work there I'm sure things would only get worse with my being there for A MONTH. I nertwuehepweqdwenfgpvwish VCU didn't start in the middle of August. >> If we started later I probably could have gotten -something.-

xdewrmi23ofcmadsacva;emwr ARGH.

There was something else I was going to rant about, but now I'm just going to give up and go to bed. Have to get up early because I'm (hopefully) giving blood today! I'm going to be freaking pissed off if they tell me no again.
fleaball: (Default)
So I'm pretty sure the chances of my working this summer are shot to hell. None of the places I applied want summer help, and with 6 weeks left I really don't have a chance anywhere else. D: So this sucks. Next year I'm fucking filling out online applications during finals week.

I'm finally getting around to cleaning out my music folder. But it's amazing how the same songs keep playing despite 1230+ being on shuffle. Cirque du Soleil is amazing. *-* And I'm insanely jealous, because my parents are going to see them/it/whatever. My mom won a trip to Vegas, so she and my father are going the 14th-17th. I hope she comes back with a check for lots of money. :? She's got to hit it big one of these days. She won that entertainment system in December, won a raffle thing of some kind for a chance to buy Red Sox tickets, and now has won this trip. I'm a little bit worried because she fully intends on gambling and I don't know how far she'll go, but there's nothing I can do about it. My grandmother's freaking out because they're leaving Sean & me at home alone. It's going to be an interesting four days. ><

Since I started writing this, I went out to Staples with Mom, and the store in Somerville says they're looking for temporary help for the back-to-school season. According to their website, if you apply online to one store, all the store in a 50-mile radius can see it. Guess I'll call tomorrow and talk to someone. I should stop getting my hopes up. >>

So I mysteriously developed lactose intolerance two years ago, and it mysteriously disappeared last year, and now I think it's back. I think maybe it's because I've been drinking a lot more milk and eating a lot more dairy foods since I've come back from school? I duno. But that seems to be the only explanation for my feeling gross after I eat ice cream or something, but not feeling gross if I've taken one of those stupid Lactaid pills beforehand. Argh.

My room is going to look cool this year. Went to Bed Bath & Beyond with Mom and Nanny last week, and I was lurking in the clearance section when I found beaded curtains for $5. Later Mom had the idea of getting one of those shower curtain tension rods to put inside the doorway/hallthing in the room, and put the curtain on that. Then I also decided that I need to go back and get a few more to put on the wall on the side of the room, and I can put pictures/posters/whatever behind them, and it will be cool. So I need to do that. And I'm excited about it. I've not really started thinking about back to school crap yet, since I had so much leftover from last year. Just need to take some kind of inventory and stock up on pens and crap again, which won't be too hard. :3 I'm rambling again, joy. Either way, my room should look better this year. I also want to print zillions of pictures and put frames up everywhere.

And now I'm pissed off. I was just on the Red Cross website looking at the eligibility requirements because I didn't want to get turned away again (going on Friday). Under the section on Vaccinations it says: "Acceptable if you received an HPV Vaccine (example, Gardasil)." HELLO, WHAT WAS THE FUCKING PROBLEM? I know there's no sense in beating a dead horse, but I don't appreciate the fact that the nurse made it seem like it was my fault that I didn't know the freaking commercial name of a vaccine, when it apparently doesn't even fucking matter.

Eww, and now it's dinner time. And I have to do calc after. Ew ew ew.
fleaball: (ANGREH)
dnfwnefjwalge WTFNO

Went in to Bed, Bath & Beyond today for my interview with the store manager. Lasted all of 5 minutes, if that. Obviously hadn't looked at my application at all... "Did you like it at A.C. Moore?" Yes. "Well why did you leave?" ...I go to school in Virginia? "Oh. Well, then your availability would obviously change?" ...Yeah. I'm not commuting, kthx. "Well... we're not really looking for temporary help at the moment." And blah blah, I should have an answer by the end of the week, one way or another.


Freaking summer's half over already and I have yet to get a job. My chances of getting one are still pretty much sucking and even getting worse, because hi, who the hell will want to hire someone for like three weeks? D:

Also went to Stop & Shop today, talked to the hiring manager. Who totally blew me off (which I was half expecting because Ferdy warned me about it). I swear he didn't even look at me when I was explaining that I used to work there and just filed an application. Oh yeah, customer service ftw. *eye roll* He told me to call him next week to see if anything changes. WTF.
fleaball: (Default)
But i'm still just as homicidal.

i don't know what the fuck i'm gona do later to make myself happier, or even just apathetic. Usually i watch Gravi, but Ferdy's got disc 1, the one with the Bad Luck concert where Ryuu shows up. Oh well. Maybe A Knight's Tale will help. Heath ledger's hot. i wana go see the Brothers Grimm movie. Ferdy, wana go sometime? Say yes.

i think i said this a few days ago, but i really do NOT want to go to school this year. i mean, i've never liked going back after the summer, ecxept for the fact that i neever see freinds til then. [yes my spelling is starting to suck but you'll just have to deal with that, won't you?] this year i'm just dreading it. As far as i know the only person i care about in my english, psych, and v/v classes is katie. i hate literally half my french class pbut hey, there's 6 of us >>], anatomy is going to suck, and im afraid of the idiot ill get stuck with in law. oh christ do i really have to go? and of course theres gona be more pressure from people for me to be #1 and piss off ariana, but i dont give a shit. if i finsih at 3 this year im going to be pissed though. just on principle.

im sick of college shit already. the visits, the emails, the snail mailings... i requested applications from harvard and VCU yesterday, and i got one from unh at the open house. chrsit, on the off chance i get into harvard my mother is going to open the phone book and call fucking everyone in it. that;s what she did when i got into all my high schools and got the scholarships. fucking christ this is going to suck. i dont give a damn, i just want to go to college. i just want to lounge around all day and go to classes in my pjs and sweatpants and crappy tshirts and not have to worry about my mother running my life or about fucking competition with certain bitches at school that everyone wants me to be in but i dont care for. and i hate to say it but i dont want to deal with kari-ann. i just dont. p3ffy and i have been kinda kind-heartedly making fun of her and how she's so anal about what she looks like and what WE look like, and i dont want to go back to that. we have december and 4th quarter out of uniform, plus tag days. i'm not dressing preppy so kari-ann can feel less self conscious. and i dont want to listen to her making fun of anime or saying im weird because of what i like or any of that, or "Gee, how did we get to be friends again?" which is her way of saying "you're a fucking weirdo and you're attracting unwanted attention to me." and omg if she does as little homework adnd studying this year as she did last year i swear to god ill kill her.

french is going to suck. im a level ahead of everyone and therefore ill be resented if i know any word they dont or i fi do this or that or whatever... and of course i talk to french people in french on gaia, so i'll know a lil more outside of what i've learned and theyll be all like "ooh uyou're showing of now huh" and i really dont want to deal with that either.

i dont give a shit that im smarter than everyone in almost everything and it's never stopped me before from doing what's expected of me, or better, but fucking christ it gets annoying when people are like "omg youre so smart you have no right to bitch about getting a 'bad grade' because thats not really bad" well thats great for you but i have my own standards and just because i dont SUCK like you do, i DO get bad grades and you have no right to assume that i dont stress out just as much as you do. so fuck off. my life is not perfect just because my gpa is 4.3+ if anything it's worse because so many people are like "omg you're so smart we've got so great expectations for you" and i dont giv ea shit. i know what i want to do with my life and it doesnt involve whatever the fuck you want me to do

speaking of which, my uncle has been telling me for years that i should be an accountant and study the stock market and shit because i can make so much money. this is the same uncle who bitches at my mom for letting us read harry potterr and watch anime cuz they're satanic of some shit like that. and he's been saying that extremem makeover show is doing a teen edition and he wants to nominate me for it. he told mom he's joking, but i would kill him. aside from the fact that it's fucking offensive as hell, i would just kill him for it. he called yesterday so see how mom's doing and she mentioned something about how she's told me repeatedly i'm not spending summers here during college if i come back with piercings and colored hair and he told her to tell me that people in the real world dont look kindly on people with colored hair and shit. ASK ME IF I GIVE A FUCK. CUZ I DONT.

i hate everyone right now. i hate stop n shop ans everyone there, i hate school, i fucking hate life. i really do. im so pissed off at everything and everyone. but at the same time i really dont give a shit baout anything. can you really be apathetic and utterly pissed off at the same time? now would be the time to go write like, angsty fanfiction or to play angry angtsy pseudo rock shit on my guitar or soemthing, except i cant play anything and i havent written any good fics in a year. someone kill me. just kill me now, please. i really dont want to have to deal wth any of this fucking shit anymore. im sick of living here and of all the stupid drama that life brings and whatever. i weish i could just jump forward 10 years or something. ill be living on my own probably working toward a fucking phd since that's what you need to be accepted as an expert of whatever, and ill probly be living in some mini apartment alone and miserable but at least id be alone. alone and with no one to answer to and no one to give a shit about.

now i want a boy/girlfriend whom i could guilt into feeling bad since i feel shitty, and then make them buy me stuff. like coffee. i need a coffee right now but mom has the car and im not walking across the street in the dark brecause im just too fucking lazy.

im sure someone's going to stumnble on thisand be offended but i coulndt care less right now. i really couldnt.
fleaball: (Default)
Like hell. Being aggressive will make it easier for me to fucking kill you.

[This entire post is me bitching about work, so no one needs to feel obligated to read and/or comment on it.]

i dont think i've ever seriously thought about quitting stop & shop before now, but quitting would only mean fucking Jandelle wins and i get no more money.

So anyway, my allergies have developed into a cold or something, i think, which makes life suck in general. i've been miserable since monday and of course i had to go into work today, which sucked more. The firsts customer i got wanted to return something form the Quincy store but she didnt have a receipt. Okay. Well it's not in our computer so i can't take it back. But she insists that all Stop & Shops sell the same thing because it's the same company so there's no way it can't be in the computer. Whatever. So she pulls a piece of paper out of her purse and writes my name down. "Well, Caitlin, i'm just going to call your coporate office and tell them you're not cooperating with me, and they'll send me a $25 gift card for my trouble." Fuck you. And she wanted to pay for her other groceries at the desk, including a banana which i couldn't scale. Andrea got the price for me, but i heard "45 cents" instead of "25 cents." Then i get bitched at cuz it's wrong and therefore she should ger her 25 cent banana free [which, by the way, is not our policy]. And threatened again because "You're being very rude to me and that's not good customer service." So apparantly she went to Donna and Regina and bitched to them, and Regina was like "Fine. Would you like me to refund your quarter?" and she did and the bitch wrote Regina's name down and said she was calling corporate again. But she stormed off and left her receipt, so Regina looked up her card number and got her name and i don't know what she did after that. But both she and Donna were like "That lady was a bitch! What did she say to you?" And i couldn't tell if they were mad at me for something or just like "wtf."

And then Mr. Linder kinda yelled at me because he's a fucking idiot. Last week i went in to see if i could give someone money to buy me cigarettes for my mom, and he's too stupid to figure that part out so all week he's been making a big deal out of how it was so illegal and it shouldn't be done and i should'nt've asked him about it "but it's okay cuz i knew they were for you mom anyway." Well what the fuck is the problem?! Let it die before someone overhears you and we all get screwed, mmkay?

Then the day just sucked in general, since it's Thursday and everyone wants to cash their checks. Then i had to call Mr. Linder since some lady wanted to return like, $30 worth of stuff but didn't have a receipt with her for any of it. And some of it had Star Market price tags on it. Didn't all Stars change to Shaws a few years ago? So calls back and says "Okay from now on call Jandelle if you need something" and he's very nice about it. i hang up from him and she's on the other line: "Caitlin? This is Jandelle. Don't you call Mr. Linder if you need customer assisstance help. you call ME. i do all that so don't call Mr. Linder again." Well that's great. in the time it took for you to stand there and bitch you could've come over and seen what i needed. idiot.

Then the day continues to suck. i went on my break an hour late because it took her that long to come down and give Adrina money for her drawer. [i couldn't go and leave Adrina with nothing.] Then she royally fucked up the lottery.

Eric asked me to hang out on the floor to help while he got some breaks done, but i had to go count the lottery. That was 5:20. The lottery was still closed because i left and something was really fucking wrong with it. i kept getting 2 different figures so it was fucked up. it was over either $600 or $1k. i called her over to look at it and it turns out she doesnt know HOW to balance the lottery. Well that's not going to help me much now, is it? So THEN she goes "well you know what, i'm just gona leave this for Danny to double check." Well that would be a good idea if he came in before FOUR PM TOMORROW.

i don't want to sound racist, but she's really your stereotypical black woman. She's got the attitude and everything. [Like the chicks on Jerry Springer who snap their fingers and go "Donchoo talk smack about me, biyatch. You don't kno~owwww me!"] While she was talking her time coming to the desk some lady pushed her way through to the front of the line and started bitching about how she spent $50 at EZ and didnt get her gas coupon cuz the machine was jammed. i told her that if it doesnt print there's nothing we can do but she wanted her coupon. She didnt want to buy gas then so i couldnt call the gas station, and when i gave her one that was on the desk, she didnt want it because it expired Monday and "what if i don't get gas by Monday?" Well i'm sure you've let coupons expire before, it won't kill you. So i'm telling her there's nothing i can do and Jandelle pushes her way through and goes "No no, i'll handle this. Come with me ma'am. " and makes herself look like the good guy and does something i'm sure she wasn't supposed to just to shut the lady up. Then she comes in and stands at my register until i turn and actually acknowledge her presence and she says to me in THE most condescending way "Well... Caitlin... what you were telling her was right, but when you get agressive that's not going to help anything. Next time you just need to be less aggressive and hear them out..." And i'm like WHAT THE FUCK.

Eric tried to count my drawer since Phylis was going on it, but he couldn't figure out how and he was finally like "Y'know what, FUCK IT." i was like "Okay, but if something comes out wrong, call me so i can kill myself before i have to come in tomorrow." i was leaning more toward killing myself so i wouldn't have to deal with it anymore, but i think he heard it as i wanted to kill myself so i wouldnt get in trouble or something cuz he's like "You'd kill yourself over Stop & Shop? No, i'd bring you back to life and then kill you again fro being stupid enough to do that!" which is cute. But oh CHRIST i dont think i can deal with that for 2 more days...

Of course i came home 25 minutes late cuz i didnt want to just leave while there were so many issues with money on MY drawer and such, and i came home homicidal, so Mom was like "Oh why are you late? What's wrong?" and i made the mistake of bitching to her and she told me i should tell Regina or Mr. Linder that either Jandelle has to go or i won't work the desk anymore.

Uh... right.

The woman has no idea how to work anything back there, she's never in the front where she should be, she doesn't know how to work the front end either... what the fuck?! We've been fine without a CSM for the 2 years i've been there, and im sure for longer than that. Why the hell are they cutting hours store wide and then bringing in people we don't need? What kind of sense does that make?! She really needs to change her attitude and learn exactly what it is she's supposed to be doing though. How the fuck can she tell us what to do when she doesn't know how we're supposed to do it in the first place? i'm not fucking new, i know what's supposed to be done. it's just that the lottery NEVER fucking balances for me and people think that because i'm a kid they know more than me so they can argue til they get their way because managers give in to everyone just to please them. What the fucking hell.

There's no way i'm gona be able to work on any kind of homework later. Maybe i'll watch Generator Gawl, or a DVD with real people in it. >>; i need to go to Suncoast and get manga, and hopefully the other 3 GG DVDs. And fuck, i want the Gravi OVA.
fleaball: (Default)
=D Gaahhhhhhhh, Johnny Depp. <3 That movie is fucking awesome. Haha, 'fucking.' Ferdy knows what i'm talking about. Mmmmyeah. And dude, the guy runs/lives in a candy factory. Can you imagine the possibilities?! @.@

Moving on to something more uh... wholesome? i got a guitar. Yays. it's a Peavey something or other. Came in a box with all the other guitar shit you need. We went to New Hampshire to see this place called America's Stonehenge. [OHMIGAWD LOOK! IT'S A BUNCH OF ROCKS!] it was okay... the main site was like, half old ancient shit and half the remains of a guy's house. o.O The tour map thing was like "#7 - Sacraficial Altar. #8 - X's Fireplace." And i'm like "uh... yeah..." But there was astronomical stones set up too. What i thought was cool was the fact that wherever the stones were, the path was clear so you could see the sun/moon/whatever, but i'm realizing now that people probably cleared them quite recently so they could see what was going on. >>;

Anyway, guitar: So we're driving through Salem looking for this restaurant we went to before, and we drive by a Daddy's Junky Music. All of a sudden my father stops short and he's like "Are they really getting a guitar?" and Mom's like "Eventually" and he just pulled in. He figured it was better to buy it in New Hampshire [where there's no sales tax] than "paying taxes to the Republic." Haha, you're funny. NOT. Now, since we started talking about getting a guitar, i've been saying we're getting an electric guitar for various reasons that Katie and P3ffy gave me, and the fact that i'm just not playing an acoustic. So the guy in the store is like "What kind do you want? Acoustic r electirc?" and i said electric but as usual i was ignored. Joe goes "Uh, we don't know yet. What's better to learn on?" and after the guy gave a speech about it, Joe turns to me & Sean and says "Hey, you should be asking these questions, not me!" At which point i flipped out on him because not only did i say what we wanted, the guy had repeated what i've been saying about why we should get an electric. So yeah. i got glared at by mom for asking the guy if they had the guitar in black, since the only one on the floor was an ugly ass color called "Sunburst" Eww.

Aaanyway, after that we went to lunch and i got yelled at a million more times for bitching at Joe for being the uncivilized idiot that he is. Then we came home and i cleaned the fucking garage. i'm still not sure why. it's been bugging me forever that it was so cluttered and messy and gross, and i was planning on doing it eventually cuz Mom's been saying we'll have to practice down there cuz of the noise [>>], so i was gona do it to drop a not-so-subtle hint. But then we got the guitar and that killed that. it was so gross down there. There was a giant spider and it had like, egg sacs in its web hanging off the door and ew. i almost quit when i saw it. But 2.5 hours later i was disgusting, the garage was clean, and the trash in the driveway took up more space than the car. Yay.

i can't wait til i'm 18. There are so many things i'm going to do just to spite Mom. BCN had a blood drive on Friday and i wanted to go, and she just kept asking me why. Uhh, to give blood? Duh? But of course i got shot down, and if you're under 18 you have to have permission, so that sucks.

UUUUGGGHHHH. i want to dye my hair. That's the one thing i can't do and hide from her. i can get my ears pierced and just wear my hair down all the time, and if i wanted i could get a tattoo and hide it easily, but i can't wear a hat or anything 24/7. Grr. And yes, i said, "i could get a tattoo." i recently decided i want one, but i don't know what or where. i saw at least 3 tattoo/body piercing places in Richmond but those were in the part you don't go to. >>

The story of my hellish trip to Virginia: So we went down to visit Virginia Commonwealth University. it's a 10 hour drive. Since no one likes my idiot father, and he drive like a maniac, it was not a happy ride. Monday was all driving. Tuesday we went to Jamestown, where they recreated some of the colonial shit but it sucked a lot. Then we went to Yorktown, which was Revolutionary War-era recreated shit. Wasn't as bad. mom expected them to take all day, but we spent maybe an hour at each one. Drove to Richmond and stayed there, even though we were'nt supposed to go tehre til Wednesday. We missed a turn, so we kept driving down one of the main streets, all the way into a rundown scary section. There were boarded up buildings and hardly anyone on the streets, and even though there were tons of fast food places and such, there were no cars in any of the parking lots. When people started listening to me since i had the fucking map anyway, we turned around and found the hotel. [The street we wanted was the only fucking one without a street sign.] Then we went back out to a fast food place called Hardee's. There was no one in the place, and all the people behind the counter were black. They were nice, but when we walked in the looks they gave us clearly said "You're not suppsoed to be here." ._. At that point i just flipped out. We went back to the hotel and i curled up in a big chair and wanted to cry. The place fucking scared me. it's not like i have a problem with cities; i've wandered around Boston and Paris and Nice, not knowing exactly where i was going and in the last two, not even knowing what people were saying, and i couldn't have cared less. But just sitting in the car and the hotel i desperately wanted to go home. i was in a bad mood all night. Wednesday morning Mom called the lady we were suppsoed to talk to at VCU and asked if we could reschedule for that day [instead of Thursday]. We went and talked to her and blah. She asked for my SAT scores & GPA, and said right away that i'd be accepted with no problem and i'd be in the honors program and get a $12k scholarship, minimum [Half a year's tuition]. We walked around and saw the school and it's all self-contained. Everything is in one area, except the medical campus is across the city, but the scool has a shuttle that runs back & forth every 15 minutes, so that's no problem. The honors dorm is an old hospital. The lady said i'd get my own room. That kinda takes the fun out of it, not having a roommate, but whatever. i kinda liked the school. And when i graduated i'd have a degree in Forensic Science, plus i'd be like, 1 clas away from a Chemistry minor and 2 from a Biology minor. Those classes could easily be taken over the summer somewhere. i haven't seen New Haven yet, but now i'm thinking i kinda want to go to VCU. i didn't before, since it's in Virginia, but i duno. The only thing is... i didnt see a supermarket or any little sotres or anything. o.O that's not goooooood.

Meh, i'm done ranting now. i forgot all the rest of what i was gona say. That, and 2 more episodes of Fullmetal Alchemist are finished. Yays.

That reminds me... i need to track down Cody. ._.


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