fleaball: (Tee hee)
Lawlz, 6 of my 13 icons are Yu-Gi-Oh! related at the moment. That's sad. (For the record, I didn't make this one. I found it somewhere on the internets.)

So I hate those of you who haven't started class yet. I'm already swamped with homework and it is fail. My calendar is also full of PSP stuff. Aaaaand I'm still praying for a job. Sent Krissy my resume/etc last week and she's going to give it to her boss on Tuesday when he gets back from vacation. Keep your fingers crossed for me plz.

Honestly? I don't know that this semester is going to be as bad as I expected. So far Physics is just a lot of math. Algebra, really. Which I can totally do. Calculus is kinda going to suck, but my book should finally be getting here this week, which means I can actually do problems (and read the book, since my teacher does, in fact, suck) and gauge where I am. I know I definitely need to review trig functions, ew. [Funny story about my book: I ordered it on 8/4. 8/24 it still hasn't arrived, and Half.com finally lets me contact the person about it. Three days later (only a few hours before I can file an official complaint) I get an email back saying "omg I just got back from vacation and got the notification. I'm sorry!" ...wtf. Srsly. WTF. If you're going on vacation for three weeks, don't list your shit. So I got a refund, and for $4 more, I'm getting the text and solutions manual from someone else. I guess that works, ne?]

Political Christianity is interesting, but it's a lot of the guy just talking at us, which makes me a little sad. He's funny though, so it works. It's weird, learning about other sides (mostly political) to the stuff I was force-fed in grade school. That does make it easier for me to write the 200-word responses to the readings though. One of which I told myself I would write tonight, until I got distracted by talking to Stacey and Maria. Whatever, I'll to it tomorrow. >> It's not even due til Thursday.

Orgo lab is going to be interesting. Three lab reports and a research paper. And we have to write our own procedures. >< Yay honors section. Orgo class? Is... yeah. We only have it Tuesday nights 7-9:50, which means we cover AT LEAST one entire chapter per class. Got to get working on studying that. u__u But Jet and Mary Beth and one of their friends are in the same class, which means we're doing homework together and studying together and such. Woot for that.

My schedule pretty much rocks. Minus the having Calc 4 times a week for 50 minutes, because that can't be avoided unless I want it twice a week for an hour and a half. ICKKK. For only three more weeks, I have one class on Thursday, from 4-515. After that my Thursdays are free. I'd rather Friday off, but whatever. A day off is a day off, and Friday I only have class from 10-1150.

Found out that a freshman on our floor is the son of the Forensic Science department chair. WHOA. He also happens to be Mary Beth's mentee. And actually invited us to Shafer with his dad last night. That was awkward like whoa, but also cool.

This is me not going to bed by midnight as I'd planned. But it's okay, because I only woke up a little more than 12 hours ago. >> That was an accident. I need to get batteries for my cool alarm clock, because the one I'm using now is loud and obnoxious and I don't want to wake other people up with it. Even though Michelle is always gone to class by the time I get up. >> But if I'm going to start getting up early and being productive, I'll need the alarm clock.

What the fuck is with people screaming at each other and beeping outside? Jesus.

I need to have my mommy send me my YGO DVDs. I forgot to bring them with me. I've decided to skip the rest of Duelist Kingdom, since it's boring and retarded and I know what happens. I may watch the duel where Kaiba threatens to kill himself though. And maybe Yugi vs Joey. But not the rest of the crap.

I'm totally ADD right now. I should be writing my silly little paper, or sleeping, but eh, whatever. There are a handful of things I intend to write longer posts about, but those will come when I'm coherent and have the time to waste writing.

Note to self: finish paper early in the morning before people have a chance to ask whether or not it's done. >>"
fleaball: (jou wtf)
Either I didn't pay as much attention to the last chapter of Calc as I should have over the summer, or I'm royally fucked. CourseCompass sucks, I know that, but I'm having a bitch of a time with this. Rawrgh.
fleaball: (Default)
So school food got worse in the few months I haven't been here. What the hell?

What the hell at the Career Center, too. There were three girls in there for over an hour, and I don't even think they were looking at the stuff sitting in front of them (which happened to be what i wanted to see). Yesterday I saw a flyer looking for like, an office assistant in the Chem department, which I immediately got excited about. Then I realized, I think that's what Allison's doing right now. Damn.

...Five hours later, I come back to write this. So anyway, I was talking to Jet at dinner and she said you're not allowed to work in a department you're majoring in, so at some point I would probably have to scrap the aforementioned job if by some miracle I got it. So... eh.

I am so not looking forward to this whole school thing. Political Christianity seems cool enough. 100-300 word paper each class, and a 1200-1500 word paper at the end. Not too bad. I'm freaking retarded and checked the wrong website for the book though, so whatever. >> Need to get those now. Boo. Booo.

I really need to get my ass organized this semester. Really. D: This is going to be a hard year and I can't afford to screw up. Yay, no pressure.

That said, I'm going downstairs to print stuff. Whee.
fleaball: (Joey nyeh)
Ah, fuck. I just looked up my math teacher on ratemyprofessor.com...

"I have always breezed by all Math courses with an A. This man makes problems so hard its just not neccessary. Cannot practice from the book because those problems are much easier."

"Lets just say I was turned off by several things:he's a smelly redneck, dresses badly, gives incredibly hard problems for homework. Tests are even harder.This course with Cardwell is harder than the honors section of the course.Its pretty ridiculous!"

"Everything is examples and he goes through them as if it is review. His homework is challenging and his tests definitely aren't easy. He does give a rather large curve at the end of the semester however. I got an A but I worked HARD- the only class that ever made me cry."

"He is very dry. He's as dead as the paper in the book. He stick to examples and and the tests looks completely different than what is in the book."

"This class made me cry too. Definitely possible to succeed if you work your bum off. Not the best instructor alive."


Fuck. Just my freaking luck.
fleaball: (Default)
I have made a zillion lists so far, all on the subject of "what I'm bringing back to/need to pack for school." They all say mostly the same things, but I just keep making new ones instead of revising the old ones. I'm paranoid I'm going to forget something. lesigh. Got some cool things today though: lovely picture frames, a planner with a kitty on it, finally a plain black shirt to wear for PSP things, another shirt (apparently my grandmother doesn't think I own any clothes), kewl colored pens that I've been searching for all summer, christmas lights for my wall(s), and a combo dry erase/cork board with a kitty on it! Yays! No matter how much I buy, I still feel like something's missing. Rargh. Still no sign of my crime scene tape either. ;o;

Stop & Shop needs to hurry up and put Celestial Seasonings tea on sale; their blueberry breeze green tea is yummeh! P=

This just in: I am a spiteful bitch. Because you didn't know that already. Despite finally being able to quit Gaia with no strings attached in two weeks, if all goes well, I'm taking a break from it now. Logically, I should be spending as much time as possible there now in order to speed up the bank closing process, but I find myself unable to care. I realize that life happens, but I've done everything by myself for nearly a month now and I think I can afford to take care of my own business for a while.

I'm melting, I swear. I want to play DDR, but I'm so much more content to sit here and do nothing in the AC. I'm so lazy. u.u That, and I hate when it's so hot and humid that you feel just as gross during and after a shower as you did beforehand. So I'm quite happy to sit here and be gross for the time being, rather than making myself more gross and then getting gross again in the process of removing the initial grossness. Does that make sense anywhere outside of my own mind? Probably not.

My little flash drive is so cute. ^o^ Speaking of cute, I wonder if I can find a Care Bears poster anywhere. Hmm...

Sean just bought an mp3 player online, and I get the feeling Mom's going to kill one or both of us for it. He mentioned wanting one, so I got bored and found some on eBay. He's sure he'll regret it in a week, but wants the thing anyway, even though he says he's spent too much money recently. Okay kid, you make a lot of sense.

I heart my current Facebook picture. It's like, the day after I redyed my hair, so you can see the purple. I likes it. Except Andrew's finger is in it. xD It looks so silly.

PSP events are looking like they're going to turn out pretty well. Personally I think two of the five are rather stupid, but it's not like I got any input from my committee. Whatever. But someone (probably France-Lee, since she brought the subject up) invited like, 20 more people, most/all of whom are alumni! I'm excited, because this means I can FINALLY get contact info for them. Once I have the time to go through and friend everyone.

For now, I'm going to get off my ass and work on math for a little while until the Sox game is over, at which point I get to watch 300 with Sean and teh Mommy on the nice big HD TV. Not better than seeing it in a theater, but definitely sweet. 8D

Meh.

Oct. 5th, 2005 12:34 pm
fleaball: (Default)
i have the most articulate titles. x3

Didn't go to school today, as you can tell. Had a fever and a headache last night. Went to bed at 8:30 again. Still sleepy, still have a headache, and i don't have a fever but i'm "warm" according to mommy. Not going to work, so yay. Bad thing? Missed a V/V quiz that i don't know when i can makek up since Ms. Seminara's still gone, and i missed a Law test which is just annoying.

School is not what i thought it would be. English and Psych are really boring, despite cool teachers. French is meh since i know more than everyone else and people's accents bother me. i know i shouldn't be critical but omg, the accents... V/V is good, except apparently i'm a hell of a lot quieter than i thought i was. i don't think i'm quiet, but i get shy-ish and self-conscious when i have to do something that could potentially make me look like an idiot. [Says the girl who wears 30+ tacky bracelets and gave a speech with a sock puppet.] So yeah, that makes it awkward. Study isn't bad but none of my good friends are in it. Law is boring as hell and the only person in it i really like is Puppy. Anatomy fucking puts me to sleep. OMG. if it weren't too late i'd try to switch out, but it was too late when i started, i think. They really only let you switch out of a class if it's too hard, not too easy. My only option would be Calculus, which Mr. Russo would never let me live down, or maybe Advanced Apps, but that would be more useless than Anatomy.

Still haven't gotten the application from Harvard that i asked for a month ago. ><" i was gona do it online to save on the fee anyway, but now it's just the principle of the thing. Bubba and her mom think it's funny i'm only applying there to get my mom to shut up. But whatever. i think since this weekend is a long weeked i'm gona do that & Renssalaer to finish off my applications. Techically i don't have to do any more application shit since i've dont everything for VCU, but mom won't let me die in peace if i don't apply to Harvard so she can feel special, and Renssalaer = scholarship, which i can use to bargain with VCU for scholarship money from them. Not that anyone cares about my college plans.

i had a dream the other night that someone died [i don't think it was a real person that i know] and i was all upset and was like "Fomg my best friend died!" and then everyone i know online and IRL got really pissed and wouldn't talk to me again cuz they were all like "WTFH i though -i- was your best friend!" and now i'm all confused as to why that happened, cuz i know no one's that petty. And we're not in 3rd grade anymore, where everyone can only have one best friend. x3 i remember sophomore year Kari-Ann gave me a best friends necklace from Claire's and i was like "Dude,i haven't had one of these in forever!" That was funny.

Went bowling on Sunday with McCabe, Iz, and this girl Liz who's a junior at AC. She's cool. Izzo and i started planning our Anime Boston costumes; we're doing a GetBackers skit with a bazillion people for the Masquerade. Ani wants me to be Himiko. Holy sheet, i just looked up her info and she only 5' and 16 years old. Jebuz. i'd get a picture except my internet's being a bitch again. Anyway, so that would be the Saturday costume thing. Sunday we're doing Kingdom Hearts and i'm gona be Halloween Sora. >w< i'm excited. Fucking graduation is on the Friday of the con though. Goddamn. Who the hell needs to go to graduation? Especially if it's in the damn church again. Lizzerd said her mom mentioned that this year they might just have a mass in the church, but have the actual ceremony somewhere else. i hope so. That church is ugly, and it's not fair that other schools have awesome graduations at outside places and stuff and we have to go in the stupid ugly church. Half the school doesn't even believe in god. BAH.

Mmm... sleepy. Glad i'm not going to work. my checks for the enxt few weeks are going to suck though; i've got 8 hours this week, and i asked for next Tuesday off so i could do Open House at school, which means my hours will get cut for a week or two. i wonder if i should just say good-bye to the practically non-existant social life i have now and tell her i can work Sundays for the time and a half. it's nice to know i have a [weekend] day off for sure, but i need the money, and for some reason i'm thinking i can't work 5 days in a row, which kills things til i'm 18. i've got to stop buying so much anime & manga, too. ><" Christmas is coming up and tehre's not much else i'll want, so i guess it's okay. i want to get the Sailor Moon season boxed set things though, and since they're over $100 i'm not asking my mom/anyone to buy them.

Paypal needs to send me that damn letter to get my account back up so i can use Ebay. Argh.

We need to get the computer fixed. i want to put digicam pics on the computer.

i had a whole bunch of stuff i wanted to write since i haven't been here in like, 2 weeks, but i forget it all now.

Sean's coming home from school soon, so i'm leaving... Gona watch Advent Children [stole sean's dvd player. booyah.] and maybe clean my room or something.

CLean? i'm sick! :gonk:
fleaball: (Default)
Bleh. Not in school obviously. Friggin allergies are back. My throat's itchy and tight and since 2am i've felt like i'm just going to throw up. Ew.

School is totally not as fun as i'd been hoping. Mom keeps telling me to rearrange it so i can be in everyone else's classes, but "i have no friends" isn't going to be a valid excuse to fuck things up. so i just have to deal with things. Tis not so bad so far; i'm happy as long as i have someone at my lunch. i wonder if anyone would be at my lunch today; i've gotten used to not having anyone at my lunch during Frecnh class... the only difference this year is the calss is all people from my grade.

Don't wana do that V/V speech. UGH.

Really not in the mood to write anymore. i want to go back to bed but i have to work in 3 hours.

Speaking of work, James has started calling me Kitty-Cat. i think he thinks it annoys me. it's kinda creepy, actually, since it's James. But that's okay. God, we have the weirdest conversations. i went and hugged Ferdy when i was going on my break and he goes "You guys really do sleep together, don't you?" and then he was saying how his friend is a lesbian but she likes gay porn and neither of them know why. So i'm like "Hey, there's nothing wrong with gay porn!" and he kinda looked at me for a minute then he's like "But you're not old enough to watch it yet." Ummm... *whistles* So anyway, i decided Ferdy and i are going to Amazing to buy him a gay porn movie thing for his birthday. Maybe we should put a "Love Danny" tag on it instead of our names. Mwahaha.

Kay. i'm done now. *shuffles off*
fleaball: (Default)
it rhymes. Yay. "The Life of a Flea!" in French. Cuz i'm weird.

Don't really like Anatomy or the people in it. Ms Butt is really anal too. [Pardon the pun? o.O] Barely know half the Law class. Puppy's in it, but she knows like, everyone, so yeah. Hoping there's someone at my lunches mods 6 & 7, but i doubt it, for 7 at least. i don't think anyone else has classes with 2nd lunch at all. >>" Dammit.

Today's Mom's bday. Didn't get her anything yet. She knows i want to get her the Sox DVD but i don't know where to find it. i'll check at Suncoast next time i go. The Gravi OVA came out today, so there's officially nothing left of it for me to get, except the rest of the remixes. x3 i'm dying to learn kanji so i can see how lame the conversation is, but something makes me think i won't find those words in my flashcards. ^-^ Although i have learned "ah," which amuses Ferdy to know end. [Fomg. Crazytrain started as soon as i typed "Ferdy." FOMG maybe i'm lyke, psychic and stuff! Since lyke, it started when i was thinking of her! OMG!]

Aaaaaanyway, that was just me being weird and trying to make fun of the psych book that ruined my summer. it is kind of weird how certain songs play after i've associated them with people. Crazytrain plays whenever i talk to Ferdy since the Pats game, some Gravi song [i think?] always used to play when i talked to Lileh... weirdness.

i have such a migrane. UGH. Must find Tylenol. ><"

Mreh... i wish i had time to write. But i have nothing to write. Pfft.

Watched Naruto dub Saturday night on Cartoon Network. Some of the voices weren't bad but some were utterly painful. Kakashi sounds nothing like Kakashi. And of course it's weird to watch anyway since i keep expecting subs to appear and not to understand what they're saying. xD

Merf. i think i'm gona try to play around with making myself a background. WE'll see how that goes xD

BAH.

Sep. 12th, 2005 06:51 pm
fleaball: (Default)
Kay, so school wasn't as painful as i expected.

But it was only the first day.

And it felt like i'd been there a month.

is it May yet?

The details:

Mod 1 - AP English: Pop quiz like, 10 minutes into class. WTFH. Did pretty good tho, since i read it at 11 last night. Got made fun of cuz i asked him to call me Cat. ["Cal? o.O" "No, Cat. Like a kitty. *paw motion since the fucking buses are so loud and you cant hear a damn thing*" "O.o *paw motions and 'wtf' expression* Riiiight. Kay."] Whatever. Don't like poetry; not looking forward to this part of the class. And fucking christ, i sit next to Angela Rufo. if i hear one word about "OMG i'm so worried about -x-" she dies. Slowly and painfully.

Mod 2 - AP Psych: Mr. Naughton reminds me of James. Only shorter, skinnier, older, and with less hair. Although i think James' hair is thinning. But that's beside the point. >>" He's really funny. Aaaannd... yeah. So shit, he's actually reading the papers. Oops. [Like anyone tried on them anyway.]

Mod 3 - AP French: So yeah. This is the first of four years that i'm in a class with people in my grade. it's weird. xD The freshman kid who was supposed to be in our class already took the AP exam and got a 5 i think she said. Jesus. Apparently bilingual schools are good. Other than the awkwardness it's pretty good. But ugh, Jared and Andranik. ><"

Mod 4 - Voice and Vision [Theology]: Did random trivia thingz0r. Twas fun. i felt stupid cuz i recognized people's names but couldn't remember what they did. Fucking Aaron knew like, everything. But i was the only one who knew the song "All i Ask of You" is from Phantom of the Opera. Proud of myself for that one.

Mod 5 - Study: Went to Starbucks, got me a strawberries & cream frappucino, did French hw. Ugh.

Law & Anatomy are the first 2 periods 2moro. i kinda don't want to go to Anatomy since Lisa Q. told me it's a lot of work. Had i known Russo was keeping the Honors Calc classes i may have switched before the end of last year and taken that instead, since i realize i did all the Anatomy shit in Bio. >>" Baaakaaaa. Mom said to see if i could switch now, but it would be too much of a hassle. Wait 2 or 3 weeks for a book, switch into a different Psych class and possibly further screw up my schedule... i'll stick with coloring, thanks.

Learned "Wild Thing" and The Who's "Can't Explain" today at guitar. Annoying to play. As i learn more chords/notes, i keep trying to pick them out in "The Rage Beat" cuz i'm a geek like that. Obsession much?

Christ. Mom's bday is tomorrow. She wants a cake but she doesn't, the only thing she wants is the DVD of the Red Sox getting their rings in April... it's frustrating. i understand that she doesn't like celebrating her birthday, but a at the same time i feel super guilty for not doing anything. And she's turning 50. Fomg. i just don't know what to do anymore. ._.

i had a dream last night that evil Bakura from ygo was running up and down the halls of my school acting like Jack Sparrow. o.O it was amusing.

Goddamn, i wish i could draw. i just got a mental image of Jack/Bakura, but there's no way it's making its way on paper since i suck. Kuro drew a pirate 'Kura before, i think. Practicing drawing and guitar are two different things; if i play the guitar i can usually figure out what i'm doing wrong. When i draw i'll screw up and not know how to fix it, screw up and not be able to fix it even though i know what to do, or just get super discouraged and give up. it sucks. Once i get the hang of my classes and stuff, i may be able to manage my time so that i have more free time. Like today, we're supposed to outline the first 16 pages of the psych book, but i did it all in only like... 20 minutes? in a week or two i should be able to figure out what's going on.

i don't know what to talk about for my speech in theology. i was thinking maybe telling the story about how i talked to the lady in France when i bought my bracelet, but it's boring and no one would care. What the hell. >>"

Meh.
fleaball: (Default)
it really is. But anyway...

Procrastination, (noun): the act of putting something off because you're just too damn lazy to do it. Yes. And i've done a lot of that this summer. The other day i cleaned my room and rearranged furniture rather than read. i've got to go read more after i eat breakfast and finish this.

Sadness: i really really wanted the Kuroneko sweatshirt from Hot Topic but it's not fleecywarm and is a zip-up. Bah. BAH i say. So that was a wasted trip to the mall. But we went to Newbury Comics too and i got the Johnny Depp poster i've been wanting [Jack Sparrow standing on his ship looking sexy before it sinks in the beginning of the movie.] And i got a Jack Sparrow pin and the Sarcasm one i had before that broke. And the Blessid Union of Souls best singles CD. i never knew "Brother My Brother" was on any CD except the first pokemon soundtrack. i want to watch that movie now too. >>; Crap.

So Kuro told me about this movie called "Brokeback Mountain." Heath Ledger's in it, and Jake Gylenhaal or whoever the fuck you spell his name. [haven't seen any of his movies, but i just found him on google and he's hot! =3] Better? they're GAY. but it doesnt come out til december, dammit. Me wana seeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

The site for The Exorcism of Emily Rose says it's only PG-13 but i swear it said R on the commercial. i want to see another rated R movie xD

i need to practice guitar, but i havent had time cuz of school shit. Goddammit.

Kay, i forgot the other thing i wanted to say/rant about in here, so i'm gona go find food and try to finish Native Son before work. Then i'll work on psych, then french, then read the Grapes of Wrath if i have time before Monday. YAY for Sparknotes. >>"
fleaball: (Default)
But i'm still just as homicidal.

i don't know what the fuck i'm gona do later to make myself happier, or even just apathetic. Usually i watch Gravi, but Ferdy's got disc 1, the one with the Bad Luck concert where Ryuu shows up. Oh well. Maybe A Knight's Tale will help. Heath ledger's hot. i wana go see the Brothers Grimm movie. Ferdy, wana go sometime? Say yes.

i think i said this a few days ago, but i really do NOT want to go to school this year. i mean, i've never liked going back after the summer, ecxept for the fact that i neever see freinds til then. [yes my spelling is starting to suck but you'll just have to deal with that, won't you?] this year i'm just dreading it. As far as i know the only person i care about in my english, psych, and v/v classes is katie. i hate literally half my french class pbut hey, there's 6 of us >>], anatomy is going to suck, and im afraid of the idiot ill get stuck with in law. oh christ do i really have to go? and of course theres gona be more pressure from people for me to be #1 and piss off ariana, but i dont give a shit. if i finsih at 3 this year im going to be pissed though. just on principle.

im sick of college shit already. the visits, the emails, the snail mailings... i requested applications from harvard and VCU yesterday, and i got one from unh at the open house. chrsit, on the off chance i get into harvard my mother is going to open the phone book and call fucking everyone in it. that;s what she did when i got into all my high schools and got the scholarships. fucking christ this is going to suck. i dont give a damn, i just want to go to college. i just want to lounge around all day and go to classes in my pjs and sweatpants and crappy tshirts and not have to worry about my mother running my life or about fucking competition with certain bitches at school that everyone wants me to be in but i dont care for. and i hate to say it but i dont want to deal with kari-ann. i just dont. p3ffy and i have been kinda kind-heartedly making fun of her and how she's so anal about what she looks like and what WE look like, and i dont want to go back to that. we have december and 4th quarter out of uniform, plus tag days. i'm not dressing preppy so kari-ann can feel less self conscious. and i dont want to listen to her making fun of anime or saying im weird because of what i like or any of that, or "Gee, how did we get to be friends again?" which is her way of saying "you're a fucking weirdo and you're attracting unwanted attention to me." and omg if she does as little homework adnd studying this year as she did last year i swear to god ill kill her.

french is going to suck. im a level ahead of everyone and therefore ill be resented if i know any word they dont or i fi do this or that or whatever... and of course i talk to french people in french on gaia, so i'll know a lil more outside of what i've learned and theyll be all like "ooh uyou're showing of now huh" and i really dont want to deal with that either.

i dont give a shit that im smarter than everyone in almost everything and it's never stopped me before from doing what's expected of me, or better, but fucking christ it gets annoying when people are like "omg youre so smart you have no right to bitch about getting a 'bad grade' because thats not really bad" well thats great for you but i have my own standards and just because i dont SUCK like you do, i DO get bad grades and you have no right to assume that i dont stress out just as much as you do. so fuck off. my life is not perfect just because my gpa is 4.3+ if anything it's worse because so many people are like "omg you're so smart we've got so great expectations for you" and i dont giv ea shit. i know what i want to do with my life and it doesnt involve whatever the fuck you want me to do

speaking of which, my uncle has been telling me for years that i should be an accountant and study the stock market and shit because i can make so much money. this is the same uncle who bitches at my mom for letting us read harry potterr and watch anime cuz they're satanic of some shit like that. and he's been saying that extremem makeover show is doing a teen edition and he wants to nominate me for it. he told mom he's joking, but i would kill him. aside from the fact that it's fucking offensive as hell, i would just kill him for it. he called yesterday so see how mom's doing and she mentioned something about how she's told me repeatedly i'm not spending summers here during college if i come back with piercings and colored hair and he told her to tell me that people in the real world dont look kindly on people with colored hair and shit. ASK ME IF I GIVE A FUCK. CUZ I DONT.

i hate everyone right now. i hate stop n shop ans everyone there, i hate school, i fucking hate life. i really do. im so pissed off at everything and everyone. but at the same time i really dont give a shit baout anything. can you really be apathetic and utterly pissed off at the same time? now would be the time to go write like, angsty fanfiction or to play angry angtsy pseudo rock shit on my guitar or soemthing, except i cant play anything and i havent written any good fics in a year. someone kill me. just kill me now, please. i really dont want to have to deal wth any of this fucking shit anymore. im sick of living here and of all the stupid drama that life brings and whatever. i weish i could just jump forward 10 years or something. ill be living on my own probably working toward a fucking phd since that's what you need to be accepted as an expert of whatever, and ill probly be living in some mini apartment alone and miserable but at least id be alone. alone and with no one to answer to and no one to give a shit about.

now i want a boy/girlfriend whom i could guilt into feeling bad since i feel shitty, and then make them buy me stuff. like coffee. i need a coffee right now but mom has the car and im not walking across the street in the dark brecause im just too fucking lazy.

im sure someone's going to stumnble on thisand be offended but i coulndt care less right now. i really couldnt.

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