fleaball: (Default)
But i'm still just as homicidal.

i don't know what the fuck i'm gona do later to make myself happier, or even just apathetic. Usually i watch Gravi, but Ferdy's got disc 1, the one with the Bad Luck concert where Ryuu shows up. Oh well. Maybe A Knight's Tale will help. Heath ledger's hot. i wana go see the Brothers Grimm movie. Ferdy, wana go sometime? Say yes.

i think i said this a few days ago, but i really do NOT want to go to school this year. i mean, i've never liked going back after the summer, ecxept for the fact that i neever see freinds til then. [yes my spelling is starting to suck but you'll just have to deal with that, won't you?] this year i'm just dreading it. As far as i know the only person i care about in my english, psych, and v/v classes is katie. i hate literally half my french class pbut hey, there's 6 of us >>], anatomy is going to suck, and im afraid of the idiot ill get stuck with in law. oh christ do i really have to go? and of course theres gona be more pressure from people for me to be #1 and piss off ariana, but i dont give a shit. if i finsih at 3 this year im going to be pissed though. just on principle.

im sick of college shit already. the visits, the emails, the snail mailings... i requested applications from harvard and VCU yesterday, and i got one from unh at the open house. chrsit, on the off chance i get into harvard my mother is going to open the phone book and call fucking everyone in it. that;s what she did when i got into all my high schools and got the scholarships. fucking christ this is going to suck. i dont give a damn, i just want to go to college. i just want to lounge around all day and go to classes in my pjs and sweatpants and crappy tshirts and not have to worry about my mother running my life or about fucking competition with certain bitches at school that everyone wants me to be in but i dont care for. and i hate to say it but i dont want to deal with kari-ann. i just dont. p3ffy and i have been kinda kind-heartedly making fun of her and how she's so anal about what she looks like and what WE look like, and i dont want to go back to that. we have december and 4th quarter out of uniform, plus tag days. i'm not dressing preppy so kari-ann can feel less self conscious. and i dont want to listen to her making fun of anime or saying im weird because of what i like or any of that, or "Gee, how did we get to be friends again?" which is her way of saying "you're a fucking weirdo and you're attracting unwanted attention to me." and omg if she does as little homework adnd studying this year as she did last year i swear to god ill kill her.

french is going to suck. im a level ahead of everyone and therefore ill be resented if i know any word they dont or i fi do this or that or whatever... and of course i talk to french people in french on gaia, so i'll know a lil more outside of what i've learned and theyll be all like "ooh uyou're showing of now huh" and i really dont want to deal with that either.

i dont give a shit that im smarter than everyone in almost everything and it's never stopped me before from doing what's expected of me, or better, but fucking christ it gets annoying when people are like "omg youre so smart you have no right to bitch about getting a 'bad grade' because thats not really bad" well thats great for you but i have my own standards and just because i dont SUCK like you do, i DO get bad grades and you have no right to assume that i dont stress out just as much as you do. so fuck off. my life is not perfect just because my gpa is 4.3+ if anything it's worse because so many people are like "omg you're so smart we've got so great expectations for you" and i dont giv ea shit. i know what i want to do with my life and it doesnt involve whatever the fuck you want me to do

speaking of which, my uncle has been telling me for years that i should be an accountant and study the stock market and shit because i can make so much money. this is the same uncle who bitches at my mom for letting us read harry potterr and watch anime cuz they're satanic of some shit like that. and he's been saying that extremem makeover show is doing a teen edition and he wants to nominate me for it. he told mom he's joking, but i would kill him. aside from the fact that it's fucking offensive as hell, i would just kill him for it. he called yesterday so see how mom's doing and she mentioned something about how she's told me repeatedly i'm not spending summers here during college if i come back with piercings and colored hair and he told her to tell me that people in the real world dont look kindly on people with colored hair and shit. ASK ME IF I GIVE A FUCK. CUZ I DONT.

i hate everyone right now. i hate stop n shop ans everyone there, i hate school, i fucking hate life. i really do. im so pissed off at everything and everyone. but at the same time i really dont give a shit baout anything. can you really be apathetic and utterly pissed off at the same time? now would be the time to go write like, angsty fanfiction or to play angry angtsy pseudo rock shit on my guitar or soemthing, except i cant play anything and i havent written any good fics in a year. someone kill me. just kill me now, please. i really dont want to have to deal wth any of this fucking shit anymore. im sick of living here and of all the stupid drama that life brings and whatever. i weish i could just jump forward 10 years or something. ill be living on my own probably working toward a fucking phd since that's what you need to be accepted as an expert of whatever, and ill probly be living in some mini apartment alone and miserable but at least id be alone. alone and with no one to answer to and no one to give a shit about.

now i want a boy/girlfriend whom i could guilt into feeling bad since i feel shitty, and then make them buy me stuff. like coffee. i need a coffee right now but mom has the car and im not walking across the street in the dark brecause im just too fucking lazy.

im sure someone's going to stumnble on thisand be offended but i coulndt care less right now. i really couldnt.
fleaball: (Default)
Like hell. Being aggressive will make it easier for me to fucking kill you.

[This entire post is me bitching about work, so no one needs to feel obligated to read and/or comment on it.]

i dont think i've ever seriously thought about quitting stop & shop before now, but quitting would only mean fucking Jandelle wins and i get no more money.

So anyway, my allergies have developed into a cold or something, i think, which makes life suck in general. i've been miserable since monday and of course i had to go into work today, which sucked more. The firsts customer i got wanted to return something form the Quincy store but she didnt have a receipt. Okay. Well it's not in our computer so i can't take it back. But she insists that all Stop & Shops sell the same thing because it's the same company so there's no way it can't be in the computer. Whatever. So she pulls a piece of paper out of her purse and writes my name down. "Well, Caitlin, i'm just going to call your coporate office and tell them you're not cooperating with me, and they'll send me a $25 gift card for my trouble." Fuck you. And she wanted to pay for her other groceries at the desk, including a banana which i couldn't scale. Andrea got the price for me, but i heard "45 cents" instead of "25 cents." Then i get bitched at cuz it's wrong and therefore she should ger her 25 cent banana free [which, by the way, is not our policy]. And threatened again because "You're being very rude to me and that's not good customer service." So apparantly she went to Donna and Regina and bitched to them, and Regina was like "Fine. Would you like me to refund your quarter?" and she did and the bitch wrote Regina's name down and said she was calling corporate again. But she stormed off and left her receipt, so Regina looked up her card number and got her name and i don't know what she did after that. But both she and Donna were like "That lady was a bitch! What did she say to you?" And i couldn't tell if they were mad at me for something or just like "wtf."

And then Mr. Linder kinda yelled at me because he's a fucking idiot. Last week i went in to see if i could give someone money to buy me cigarettes for my mom, and he's too stupid to figure that part out so all week he's been making a big deal out of how it was so illegal and it shouldn't be done and i should'nt've asked him about it "but it's okay cuz i knew they were for you mom anyway." Well what the fuck is the problem?! Let it die before someone overhears you and we all get screwed, mmkay?

Then the day just sucked in general, since it's Thursday and everyone wants to cash their checks. Then i had to call Mr. Linder since some lady wanted to return like, $30 worth of stuff but didn't have a receipt with her for any of it. And some of it had Star Market price tags on it. Didn't all Stars change to Shaws a few years ago? So calls back and says "Okay from now on call Jandelle if you need something" and he's very nice about it. i hang up from him and she's on the other line: "Caitlin? This is Jandelle. Don't you call Mr. Linder if you need customer assisstance help. you call ME. i do all that so don't call Mr. Linder again." Well that's great. in the time it took for you to stand there and bitch you could've come over and seen what i needed. idiot.

Then the day continues to suck. i went on my break an hour late because it took her that long to come down and give Adrina money for her drawer. [i couldn't go and leave Adrina with nothing.] Then she royally fucked up the lottery.

Eric asked me to hang out on the floor to help while he got some breaks done, but i had to go count the lottery. That was 5:20. The lottery was still closed because i left and something was really fucking wrong with it. i kept getting 2 different figures so it was fucked up. it was over either $600 or $1k. i called her over to look at it and it turns out she doesnt know HOW to balance the lottery. Well that's not going to help me much now, is it? So THEN she goes "well you know what, i'm just gona leave this for Danny to double check." Well that would be a good idea if he came in before FOUR PM TOMORROW.

i don't want to sound racist, but she's really your stereotypical black woman. She's got the attitude and everything. [Like the chicks on Jerry Springer who snap their fingers and go "Donchoo talk smack about me, biyatch. You don't kno~owwww me!"] While she was talking her time coming to the desk some lady pushed her way through to the front of the line and started bitching about how she spent $50 at EZ and didnt get her gas coupon cuz the machine was jammed. i told her that if it doesnt print there's nothing we can do but she wanted her coupon. She didnt want to buy gas then so i couldnt call the gas station, and when i gave her one that was on the desk, she didnt want it because it expired Monday and "what if i don't get gas by Monday?" Well i'm sure you've let coupons expire before, it won't kill you. So i'm telling her there's nothing i can do and Jandelle pushes her way through and goes "No no, i'll handle this. Come with me ma'am. " and makes herself look like the good guy and does something i'm sure she wasn't supposed to just to shut the lady up. Then she comes in and stands at my register until i turn and actually acknowledge her presence and she says to me in THE most condescending way "Well... Caitlin... what you were telling her was right, but when you get agressive that's not going to help anything. Next time you just need to be less aggressive and hear them out..." And i'm like WHAT THE FUCK.

Eric tried to count my drawer since Phylis was going on it, but he couldn't figure out how and he was finally like "Y'know what, FUCK IT." i was like "Okay, but if something comes out wrong, call me so i can kill myself before i have to come in tomorrow." i was leaning more toward killing myself so i wouldn't have to deal with it anymore, but i think he heard it as i wanted to kill myself so i wouldnt get in trouble or something cuz he's like "You'd kill yourself over Stop & Shop? No, i'd bring you back to life and then kill you again fro being stupid enough to do that!" which is cute. But oh CHRIST i dont think i can deal with that for 2 more days...

Of course i came home 25 minutes late cuz i didnt want to just leave while there were so many issues with money on MY drawer and such, and i came home homicidal, so Mom was like "Oh why are you late? What's wrong?" and i made the mistake of bitching to her and she told me i should tell Regina or Mr. Linder that either Jandelle has to go or i won't work the desk anymore.

Uh... right.

The woman has no idea how to work anything back there, she's never in the front where she should be, she doesn't know how to work the front end either... what the fuck?! We've been fine without a CSM for the 2 years i've been there, and im sure for longer than that. Why the hell are they cutting hours store wide and then bringing in people we don't need? What kind of sense does that make?! She really needs to change her attitude and learn exactly what it is she's supposed to be doing though. How the fuck can she tell us what to do when she doesn't know how we're supposed to do it in the first place? i'm not fucking new, i know what's supposed to be done. it's just that the lottery NEVER fucking balances for me and people think that because i'm a kid they know more than me so they can argue til they get their way because managers give in to everyone just to please them. What the fucking hell.

There's no way i'm gona be able to work on any kind of homework later. Maybe i'll watch Generator Gawl, or a DVD with real people in it. >>; i need to go to Suncoast and get manga, and hopefully the other 3 GG DVDs. And fuck, i want the Gravi OVA.

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March 2009

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